ASEPI is short for the Anal Simean Ejection Probability Index. Put simply, it is the quotient "i" of the probability of a given event "e" divided by the probability of monkeys spontaneously flying from my butt. The ASEPI is caclulated thus:
where pe is the probability of event e, and pase is the probability of spontaneous anal simean ejection.
To mitigate the inevitable problems associated with significant figures and precision, it is conventional to refer to an ASEPI using the following canonical terms: