I have these absolutely perverse dreams sometimes. I figure I'd better get in touch with whatever aspect of me that is originating these dreams before it gets in touch with me with a baseball bat.

Evil Dream #1

      The setting of the dream was in World War II, even though I had a computer sitting on my desk. The year was 1944, the year everything was going wrong for the axis. I was involved in the underground in Germany, and the Gestapo had caught on to our cell. My comrade was telling me that the Gestapo would be showing up to get me in a few hours. In order to give the rest of the cell a chance to escape, and to badly mislead the Nazis, I had to kill myself. In the dream, I had thought about this carefully and suicide had seed like the best possible choice. There was a war on, after all, and lots of people were dying. I had carefully considered the options, and decided the best way to save my friend's lives was to take my own.

      So, my friend had left. I had a gun, a small caliber automatic. I put the barrel in my mouth and pulled the trigger. I could feel the bullet take out large chunks of my brain and blow off a large bit of my head. I fell down but didn't die. The caliber was too small. So, I struggled to my feet, got the gun, and discharged the eight remaining bullets into my mouth. I felt each of the eight bullets go into the roof of my mouth, blast through my brain, and remove chunks of my skull on the way out. I didn't look but I knew I had brain-bits all over the ceiling. I blew off almost all of my skull and most of my brain, but I still wasn't dead.

      Have you ever felt a breeze on your brain? I mean, on the inside right around the middle?

      I spent the next 5 or 6 minutes dying. I could feel myself getting progressively weaker and I was losing control parts of my body. My only real worry was that the Gestapo would show up before I died, and would be able to save my life and torture information out of me. I woke up before I either died or the Gestapo arrived.
Evil Dream #2

     I was part of a group that had decided to launch a nuclear warhead at the Russians, to blow up something or another in the name of truth, justice, and the American way. We had calculated that the Russians would not retaliate. We were wrong.

      I was standing in a suburban supermarket. I saw the contrail of our missile go overhead. I felt very excited and proud of myself and my group. Then I saw a massive mushroom cloud over the city, and I realized that the Russians had struck back. Hundreds of thousands of people were incinerated and it was my fault. Then I felt a massive wave of radiation strike me. I could feel myself being massively scarred from the insdie out, my skin bubbling up in radiation burns. I fell down helplessly dying. All around my in the supermarket I could see other people that were also terribly burned from radiation. I was surrounded by dying people and I was responsible for it. I spent several minutes laying there dying and then I woke up.
Evil Dream #3

      I was getting into the back seat of a very wide, 1960's style car to go to a wedding. In the back was my cousin and his girlfreind. They had died in a motorcycle accident three days ago. (This was all in the dream. I didn't recognize the person as a real-life cousin.) They should have died then, but they didn't want to miss the wedding. They were starting to get a little gamey; the guy had a real hard time keeping the top of his head on. They were a little embarrased about showing up to the wedding like this, but they really wanted to go to the wedding.

      I was talking to them, and I made a comment that "wasn't it time to be doing that into-the-light thing?" They replied that when they had decided not to die (so they could attend the wedding) they had given up on going into the light, and in order for them to die now they would have to have somebody be their guide to the light. It was pretty obvious that this guide job involved dieing first. They were looking at me meaningfully. I woke up.